I want to get back on my feet again. I want to be able wake up in the morning thinking about the next greatest thing I want to do today. I want to breath the fresh air of life. I want to say positive words. I want to look out from my window and see the great future lies ahead. I want to fly high and beyond the reach of stars. I want to stand still against the tornado with high confidence that I will survive.

But the fact is I have nothing now. Nothing. I have no life, no money and no jobs. Darn, I can’t even afford one way ticket home just to return home with tail between my legs. And I don’t even know if I could survive for another week with the current life, money and jobless situation. For those who had been advising me to hold on, I can only say thank you but I have to remind you all that you have no freakin’ idea what I’ve been thru here. No freakin’ idea.

It’s been foul air I’ve been breathing in now. Suffocated. It is not fun anymore to wake up without knowing what to do with life anymore. It seems everyday is like a borderline to insanity just waiting to be crossed. It is not a good day anymore when the only thing in my mind every day is how am I supposed to end this misery. It’s almost a month since my last entry complaining about life with no positive thing going on with it. It still the same frustration, the same situation and the same freakin’ condition. I hate it.

I want my life back…