October 31st, 2003
It’s been a month since I arrived in Germany. So many things happened lately that keep me very busy. Lectures, assignments, shopping, cooking and many other things keep me from having idle brain and hand which is great because at least I always have something to do.
Life has been kind to me lately. A month ago I know nobody in L
October 27th, 2003
is coming… The month of contemplation and self-reflection. The month that slowly lost its true meaning to most of the people. The month of understanding, cleaning the soul and recognize the meaning of being human. It is a great and holy month.
So, to all of you that do Ramadhan’s fasting, may Allah bless all of us.
October 25th, 2003
Do you ever wonder what if you made different decision in the past? What will happened today then? Do you will be more happier? Or will you regret that decision?
I always believe that it is wiser to let the past go and keep moving on but once in a while in my life I’ve keep asking those questions again and again. The ‘What If’ question is really a mind game…
Like now, for example. I’ve been thinking what will happened if my career was not stagnant, I’ve got raise, still have beautiful relationship and all of other good things. One of the obvious answer is that I may not be in Germany right now. Last year I have a good job, good salary and good relationship, at least I thought I have, so nothing to complain back then. Then suddenly it turn out that everything went downhill… My job went stagnant, please don’t get me wrong here, I love my job, it’s the best thing that ever happened to me but I know there are many things I can do in this field and in my position there are not much I can do. Of course I’ve made some differences back there in my old office but still something is missing. Then my salary also went stagnant and that’s not good. So I went on finding something else, not a new job since I never thought to switching career or office, and out of nowhere I’ve got this idea on continuing my school. For some people that know me in the last couple of years that idea sounds absurd because they are know that how I struggling so hard to finish my bachelor.
So after 6 months searching for a school that fit my interest, I finally found my current school. Then I’ve made some research about the school, about Germany and about the chance to get a scholarship. After 2 months I was ready to apply then I did it.
After that things went so fast, I just can’t remember everything about it. The interview, the Letter of Acceptance, the visa and all of that stuffs happened so fast that I’ve found it hard to breath. I still have some doubt tho, I don’t have enough money (since I’ve only got partial scholarship), I found it hard to live in a very distant place without my love ones and my family (It’s not just another 4 hours driving like Jakarta to Bandung, it’s 20 hours plane ride), I still have my job which more or less give me some assurance about my life and lots of things to be considered.
Then something happened as I found out that for the last one year, my beautiful relationship was not exactly what it seems, it just one big lie. Then I am really deciding to pull all the plugs. Sold my car, resigned my position and do everything I can to get into the plane and go to Germany and forget all of those bad things and I did.
Now here I am, in the far away country from mine, thinking about the ‘what if’ question again. Should I be more happier now? I don’t know, I just want to rebuild my destroyed dream and do the best each day so one day I can make that dream come true… So how’s it gonna be?
October 24th, 2003
Yesterday we have snow… yeah, snow in autumn. Not much but it was snow. Well, I should be very happy for that because this was my first snow experience but… since the snow slapped right in my face while I was riding a bike I wasn’t quite so exciting about it =P.
Well, it was nice to see some snow but I never realized that it will happened so soon! And the temperature keep droping below 0 as soon as the sun goes down in the horizon.
It’s gonna be a very chilling experiences in the months to come.
October 23rd, 2003
Most of you may already know the css Zen Garden website. It is a great website to demonstrate how great CSS can be.
Now css Zen Garden is available in Indonesian language, thanks to Dave Shea (the creator of css Zen Garden) who let me do the translation.
Let me know if you find any mistakes in the translation, it’s not perfect but for now I think it will do.